separation of self

On November 11, 2004, in Personal, by Leigh Graves Wolf

So, I didn’t think that it could happen…well, I knew it could happen, does happen, but I didn’t think that I did it…or I guess I’ve never experienced it… until today.

I have two different personas…I communicate differently via email/im/etc than I do in person. I have a situation where I communicate with someone online and in person…and our relationship (the basis of my research interest) is different in person than it is online! I’m sure there are many reasons for this, there IS safety behind the computer screen, it’s easier to be yourself (or for some, pretend that you’re someone else) online.  There seems to be this invisible barrier that pops up when I’m face to face with people…or maybe it’s the opposite, not a barrier, I’m totally exposed, naked?  Maybe it’s happened before, but it seemed so black and white today, it literally slapped me in the face. So where is this relationship? Is it with the person, with the persona, or is it with what I see (or think I see) on the computer screen? E-mail allows me to be who I want to be…(in no particular order) grammatically correct, concise, well-thought out, and more! It connects me with people.  I am very dependent on my relationship with my e-mail accounts.  If this relationship didn’t exist…how would that impact how I relate to people? I have become so proficient in presenting myself online, that I’m finding myself having difficulties presetting myself in ‘real life’…I (think I) say things better online? So is e-mail an enabler? Who am I?!?! Ok, ok, I’m getting too dramatic…but I have a new perspective on my research, and I’m really …

captivated, charmed, ecstatic, elated, enchanted, entranced, excited, fulfilled, gladdened, gratified, joyous, jubilant, overjoyed, pleasantly surprised, pleased, and thrilled (thanks to thesaurus.com.)
 

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